McAllister, who had no political
experience before parlaying a lot
of his own money and the wit to diagnose a political environment optimally arranged
to elect an unknown to Congress, less than a half year later was revealed –
apparently through a leak
by his own staff – to have committed extramarital infidelity, prompting him
to declare he would eschew an attempt at reelection this fall in order to put
family affairs into order. Lately he’s hedged
on a withdrawal from politics, not realizing that once surrendering that it’s
unlikely any electorate ever would take him back.
But, as he made his mark as
preacher of dysfunction in Washington, perhaps a return of zeal to stay in
power prompted him to get back to that narrative through a bizarre story. His
claimed anecdote highlights that (in his words) “money controls Washington” and
how work on Capitol Hill is a “steady cycle of voting for fundraising and money
instead of voting for what is right.”
Essentially,
he alleges that a colleague (who he refuses to name) told him the Heritage Foundation, an influential conservative
public policy research organization, would give him a $1,200 contribution to
him if he voted against a bill dealing with the Bureau of Land Management. But
if he voted for it, some unnamed “environmental impact” group would pony up
$1,000. Later, the representative whose name he dares not speak tells him he
got his check, to which McAllister says his never came, and chalks that up to
Heritage and its operative Gov. Bobby
Jindal not liking him for some reason; McAllister’s winning campaign framed
him as a little guy against big bad elites like Jindal.
Taking the parameters McAllister
gives, and keeping in mind he entered Congress only in November of last year
and the floor vote had to happen at least a couple of weeks ago for the
scenario to play out, and that it had to lose in the House because Republicans
control it (given his implication that Heritage is against it), only 12
bills even qualify dealing with the BLM in that time span, and every one of
them either passed the house or has yet to receive a floor vote. Most have become
law and most were trivial.
So let’s get this straight. Here’s
a guy who, despite his hardly having been in Congress any time, complaining about
it all the while, and in disgrace for the past couple of months, is trusted
enough by another Member to receive instructions on how to curry monetary favors
contrary to federal law from at least one organization that doesn’t even give
campaign donations (there is a political arm to Heritage called Heritage Action
for America, which has made no
contributions in the 2014 cycle to date) concerning a bill that apparently
cannot exist and to a lame duck it makes no sense to try to influence. And one
so fascinated by this he kept track of what donations came over the transom
after the vote. And told by a guy dishonest enough to cheat on his wife at
least once. This is about as credible as the idea of Edwin Edwards quitting his
political comeback and new family to enter a monastery.
Obviously McAllister is a fibber
of the first magnitude, but far more interesting is why he would come up with
this half-baked whopper. Certainly it makes him appear as a maverick, always ready
as the champion of trod-upon voters to fight the evil known as Washington, D.C.
Yet it also, in its disparagement of a prominent conservative group and Jindal,
sheds light on a potential quarter-baked, convoluted strategy to get reelected.
If McAllister harbors delusions
of a comeback this fall, he knows he will not make a runoff as a Republican,
for not only do many GOP voters disdain candidates untrustworthy in matters such
as marriage that signal their untrustworthiness in governing, even more distrust
those who feel entitled to do it as soon as they get elected, and more still
see people as hypocrites who say they must abjure reelection to save their
marriage from this deep-seated problem only to come back shortly thereafter and
say they’re rested, relaxed, and ready to go again. In fact, so do a lot of
Democrats and nonpartisans; a reputation as a hypocrite you can’t trust isn’t
exactly the strongest endorsement for reelection.
However, McAllister may think
that Democrats may be desperate enough to win the district as to accept him as
a Democrat and vote accordingly for him, allowing him to put together a rainbow
coalition and storm to victory. Think again; he will get no party support because
party activists never will support a turncoat of convenience when they need to
husband every resource to get out the vote for Sen. Mary Landrieu’s reelection bid. In
fact, to boost turnout for Landrieu, they’ll run at least one genuine, probably
black, Democrat to accomplish this, would not lift a finger to help him, and thereby
reduce even further his chances of winning (while they dream he would make the
runoff against their candidate). And while in doing this, for example, he might
pick up another $1,000
contribution from major Democrat activist Calvin Fayard, he can kiss goodbye
another $2,600
from frequent Republican donor Lane Grigsby. This isn’t exactly the recipe to
win again.
So maybe, facing these dynamics,
then he would run as an independent? Fine, but then hardly anybody would be
giving him money and certainly no partisan assistance, both of which he needs
still owing to himself hundreds of thousands of dollars consequence of his special
election win. And he really thinks his tarnished name with this minimal ability
to spread a “pox on all houses/I can save Washington from itself” message will draw
enough voters to make the runoff against a Democrat, which is the only way he
remotely has a chance of winning?
McAllister now claims the yarn was taken out of context. But if he really is thinking about a comeback and the fable was part of that strategy, there’s a term describing this condition: dementia praecox. Having initially made himself into a cliché of a self-serving politician and next into a buffoon, all that’s left for him to transform into a total joke is to follow the script above into self-parody.
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